The Chimney Sweep
by PhoonMaster
Summary: Demyx is eaten by a sweet potato, and what does Zexion do? Send the rest of the organization, including Roxas, who has been turned into a piano, and Axel, now Beethoven, to the puppet dimension. But what will Zexion do now?...Move to Venezuela, that's wha


Zexion decided to go for a walk. He stumbled upon a magical fountain where rocking horse people ate marshmallow pies He had just taken the banana and sprite challenge and threw up in it. Then from the fountain came a picture book of wonder and junk titled Cloud the bishie. Zexion decided to commandeer this wondrous book. But he had ADD and soon forgot about it.

Later, Demyx stumbled upon this same book. Then he decided to be eaten by the giant sweet potato that had come out of the bishie book. Deciding that the book shall now be hence forth an 801, the sweet potato turned into a giant cupcake that ate Demyx just the same.

Even later, Axel walked past the Fountain and discovered the remains of Demyx, next to the book. He quickly decided that this would be a great anniversary present for Roxas. Once he figure this out, he forgot about the bones and gore next to him for (Axel also had severe ADD) and went to gift the box to Roxas.

As he gave the box with the book inside (despite the fact that the box came out of fladoodlin' nowhere), Roxas took one look at it, turned to Axel, and devoured his head.

But as the head went down, the spikes poked through his spinal chord, turning him into a piano.

Now that Roxas was a piano, Axel turned into Beethoven, and proceeded to compose a magical masterpiece of flapdoodle-ness, despite his lack of head.

Marluxia and his crossdresstranditecalness-ness (ness) stumbled upon this odd scene and killed himself on the Roxas-piano. Thus, the entire organization went into mourning, even though they hated Marluxia and his pink guts.

After the funeral, Zexion was out walking by the fountain. He discovered the pile of bones that once was Demyx. He was immediately sent into a whirlpool of even more emoness than he was already in. He was angry. Why was it that everybody mourned Marluxia and not Demyx, his lover? In his rage, the sweet potato-cupcake was summoned out of the magnificent BL picture book.

And, oh, how magnificent it was. In its entire ness ness it summoned the epic powers of Oyster Boy.

Uttering only its battle cry (Oystersupermegafluffyattatck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), it flushed the world that never was (and sora and kairi for that matter as well, because they suck [well, except for when it's Riku and sora together, then, y'know, whatever, it's like, yaoi-nmess…..) and sent them to the puppet dimension!!!

In this puppet dimension, the other organization members were forced to eat vegetables. But back in Margarita, Venezuela (where Zexion was now living as a hypnopsychologist), Zexion was lonely. While sitting in his emo corner one day, a man came down his chimney.

"Who are you?" Zexion asked.

"My…" the chimney sweep coughed "My name is… Kendrick SanFransisco…"

Noticing this man's resemblance to Demyx, only one thought came to Zexion's mind.

'I feel like tacos.'

Kendrick looked confused.  
"Do I know you from somewhere?"

"Um, well, I used to be in this evil organization thingeh…Then I worked at that Chinese place down the street…."

"That's it! The Chinese place! You were that chick with the shoes!"

"Yeah! I remember you now! The little moogle thing!"

"Yeah, totes."

Back in the puppet dimension, piano Roxas and Axel Beethoven were having lunch at the Chinese place down the street, which wasn't really Chinese because it only sold taquitos.

Roxas, feeling like he needed to say something, opened his mouth and said one simple phrase:

"I'm going to rape your cat."

Axel Beethoven looked taken aback for an instance, and then proceeded to dump food over his head.

Roxas feeling very pissed summoned the Cloud the Bishie book. Pulling a Zexion, he made the book levitate, and turned the pages at just the right rate to give Axel Beethoven a nosebleed from the Bishie and yahoo and BL (Ha! The mesh ness!!!)-ness.

Axel Beethoven reacted with a nosebleed.

Kendrick awoke the next morning with a terrible headache. He was lying in a dark alley next to the house he was in the day before. Then it started coming back to him.

"Oh, shit." Said Zexion, looking at the dazed look in Kendrick's eyes.

"I love you." He murmured with cloudy eyes.

Zexion sighed. "It's about time I told you the truth, Demyx."

"Demyx?" Asked Kendrick, puzzled.

"You are the reincarnation of my lover, Demyx, who died last week in a death by sweet potato accident.

"But if he died last week, wouldn't that mean I could only remember my life from now back to last week?"

Zexion simply repeated "Shit."

"Hey Zexy—whoah, who's that?"

"SSHIIIITTTTTTTTTT!"

"Um, Zexion, who's that?"

"Nobody, goodbye!" He then proceeded to push Kendrick away from the house, pull Demyx in, and slam the door.

"What the _hell_ are you doing here Demyx?!?"

"What do you mean Zexion?"

"Aren't you supposed to be dead?!? Dead by sweet potato-cupcake?!?"

"Oh, that? Pshht, no. I staged it."

"You what."

"Staged it. As in, it wasn't real, as in fake, as in—"

"You're not dead?"

"Yeah! As in I'm not dead!"

Zexion's eyes lit up. "Oh, Demyx.!" He proceeded to give Demyx the biggest hug you ever saw.

"Delicious crab meat…"

"What?"

"You know, from the Cloak?"

"The wha—nevermind, where the hell did that come from?"

"You know, the writers were just talking about it? 'The biggest hug you ever saw'? Ring a bell?"

"Um, no. But we're together now, and that's all that matters!"

Kendrick felt angry. "Hey!"

"What is it?" Zexion said impatiently.

"I…. I love you… and… I thought…"

"Get off my lawn, bitch, or I'll throw processed cheese at you."

"Zexy…" Demyx added, "Did you have an affair while we were separated?"

"N-no!" Zexion stammered, "He's just my chimney sweep!"

"I'm not, actually." Kendrick smiled evilly.

"What are you trying to say?" Demyx pouted.

"I….I thought he was you! You look a lot alike…"

"Zexy." Demyx frowned. "No, Zexion, that man over there has a PINK BUZZ CUT."

"Wha—no he doesn—holy shit! How long has your hair been like that Kendrick?!?"

"YOUWILL BEANARCHILOLNCKDHITNDHBBIEJWKWITHASIDEOFLAGERBEER!"

"What the fuck?"

"Sorry, stupid writer got distracted."

"Alright, well, we should settle this wi—"

Meanwhile, in the Puppet dimension, Piano Roxas and Axel Beethoven were—holy shit! Um, let's move on to some other people, they seem to be busy right now….

Um, so meanwhile in Spongebob land, Mr. Krabs was counting his money.

Axel Beethoven was recovering from his nosebleed and…cough… other activities. Looking up, he realized that he felt normal,

He felt normal!

"Roxas! Roxas! Are you still a piano?"

"No" said Roxas, for he no longer was a piano.

Axel got out of bed and looked out the window. "Today's going to be a wonderful day, I can just feel it!"

"You're right. I feel special just to be alive right now."

They smiled happily.

Then the building exploded.


End file.
